Embracing Depression

Its a monster running close to you.

Its a monster inside your mind.

This monster isn’t real, but it feels real.

Its thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough, not worthy enough, and not strong enough.

Its thoughts tearing you down everyday.

Its a darkness inside and outside.

Its feeling like you’re fading into the background.

Its feeling like everyone is disappointed in you.

Its feeling like no one could ever love you.

Its hearing nice compliments, but having them quickly fade and disappear before you grasp them and gone before they can bring you up.

Its hearing what you have to do and feeling like it’s the biggest thing in the world to do.

Its hearing laughter and feeling empty.

Its knowing that you’re sad and scared.

Its knowing that you need something but not knowing what it is.

Its knowing you’re have so much to be grateful for but not being able to feel it long enough to let it help you.

Its feeling lonely when your family is right by you.

Its anger taking over your body.

Its anger making you miserable and hopeless.

Its frustrating and time consuming.

Its wasting most of your time on how mad you are at feeling this way but never figuring out a solution so you’re constantly still and stagnant.

Its getting nothing done and than being mad at yourself until you know longer do anything at all.

Its completely degrading and it doesn’t seem fair.

Depression does not seem fair. It takes away all your joy and happiness. The worst part is how uncertain you are of what is going to happen. Will this time be worse? Will there ever come a day that I don’t have to deal with this? Why is this happening to me? Everyone else is happy and there are people that struggle more yet here I am feeling sad when other people would love to have my life and now I feel like the worst person in the world for allowing myself to have these sad feelings.

The thing I have learnt is to embrace the uncertainty. There is no saying this will last months and years, and there is no saying that you wont start to feel better within weeks. Yes, these pains don’t seem to be lovely and at times they seem to be scary and it doesn’t make sense, but sadness is where we learn the most. If we can stay strong and smile in these times, then God will repay us. This sadness will not last, it always passes!


The more terrified we are the worse it seems. It is all just feelings in the end and lots of feelings are not positive but that’s ok. I have realized that I am here already, I am starting to feel this way and it is not as bad as it seems to be. If we can continue to do all we can to be happy in these times that above all is true strength.

There is so much to be grateful for and although it never seems like we can embrace that when we feel this way, the more we practice gratitude the more it will feel effortless – just as feeling upset and bad about ourselves seems effortless.

One day things will be great. I am here to say that I am not feeling the best lately, but I am already here feeling the beautiful sadness and trying to listen to what God is telling me I must learn in this time.

Everyday I have been doing a smiling meditation for five minutes and I even practice smiling while I’m driving and you wouldn’t believe how much smiling can help. Its something you can try yourself. When you’re smiling everything truly feels like its going to be ok even if negative thoughts arise in your mind you still feel at ease.

Although it seems unfair, the strength you’re given later will be priceless so lets not just focus on how we are feeling now but how amazing we will be feeling soon and how much more grateful we will be for the beauty in everyday.

Let us embrace depression as if it where a scared friend needing help. Lets look at it with an open mind and and loving heart rather than wanting and needing it to go away. Lets love it and remember that it is only a part of our life that we NEED for our next step. Something bigger is coming and this is going to give us all the strength for that time. We need this piece in the puzzle so please don’t run and please don’t be scared.

I am not going to give up and neither should you.


As always, share the love ❤


Depression makes you stronger 

2 years ago I was in Montreal, I didn’t want to believe it but I was severely depressed. Depression doesn’t discriminate; it doesn’t care what you look like or how much you have to be thankful for. It’s a feeling that doesn’t want to leave you until you feel completely destroyed. 

Now, I can’t believe how much I’ve grown since, and how several times of being depressed and bed ridden can change your life for the better. 

At the time it’s never ending but when you look back and your growth it’s something you don’t want to take back. 

I realized that people can support you, but in the end you have yourself and when you can learn to stand up for yourself on your own two feet you never have to look back. 

2 years ago and many years before I was a weak soul, and I let others tear me apart without even noticing. Being in Montreal two years ago I remember walking and wanting to die every moment, comparing myself to everyone wondering why I even deserved to live. I couldn’t understand how these thoughts took over my mind and made me completely helpless. 

I used to let others steal my energy and pieces of my soul only to come to understand now that the reason people push you down is because you have something special that they want, and don’t want you to realize for yourself. Now being here I can’t imagine not living this life, and meeting authentic people. Life feels brand new everyday. I can’t believe that I was so close to taking myself off this earth. Yes, I still find it difficult to love myself a lot and enjoy my physical features. But it’s all process and that’s what life is about. 

To those of you struggling today, please trust the universe, trust God and trust the process of life itself. #nevergiveup

Social Media

In this day and age, with all this social media, fcked up society, the awful ways females are portrayed, how one body type is always valued more than others it’s almost impossible to love yourself on a steady level, without running into something to compare yourself to and through u off. With just one picture that makes u jealous or question your worth in your relationship, comments that destruct you, videos that have no positive messages just valuing a body image, or simply overhearing conversations that just make u question who u are and your image. How on earth can we make it easier to love the skin were in? And even not focus so much on our own self image and just live life once and for all free of judgement and hatred? 

It is not at all easy to love yourself, I spent years struggling and I still do. People can act like they have it all together just by their Instagram, but do any of us have it all together? So why pretend to be perfect … I am trying to get away from this. I see some people trying to make their Instagram perfect, it looks pretty don’t get me wrong but is that you, really or you trying to be something you’re not? I want to show my flaws, I want young girls to see that they can be unique. The world needs more people that are better role models, ones that don’t focus only on their body and more on their mind and soul.

As always, share the love ❤️

Don’t let your grades define you

If you can learn to smile even when you do “bad,” that is true strength. 

I recently did very bad on a midterm. For someone like myself this is usually going to ruin my day. But I’ve decided today to not let it. Instead of telling myself all day how incapable I am of school and how I won’t be a good psychologist, I’m taking it as a blessing. I know how it feels to do badly even when you try hard, and I am going to be able to help someone cope when they are feeling the same. 

Guess what? 

Grades do not define you and they definitely don’t define who you are! 

A grade only is a number to show you how well you did on a test. Not how smart you are! Therefore it doesn’t mean because you did that bad that you’re incapable of doing what you love. Maybe, you didn’t understand certain concepts, maybe you felt tired just that day but actually know what’s going on in class. Regardless of these cases who cares?

Yes of course we all want to achieve an A plus. But why? Are we not going to get a certain job if we have some C pluses? No. It’s about who you are as a person not the marks you achieve

So who cares! You tried and that’s all that matters. You’re getting an education and in the end you will still be amazing at what you do if you’re passionate about it. Passion is what matters not the highest marks. If you have only good grades does that mean you will do well at your job? Not necessarily, actually for the most part it will not. You must have passion and love for your career and with that you can succeed within itself. After all they say do what you love, not do what you get great marks in. 

School is not your life, it’s a small part of it. There are so many other things that matter; your health being the most important. If you stress yourself out and cram your brain and devote your life to school then what kind of a life is that? Balance is the key which we all know. 

There are worse things going on in the world than getting a bad grade on a test or even a bad grade in the class. When I felt sad the other day about my grades, and so stressed out I took ten minutes to pray and think about all I was grateful for. I realized that my life is truly amazing and I have the best people in my life. I now understand that school is only a part of my life, and my world won’t end or even crumble one bit if I don’t do the best. It’s just a learning curve and whatever happens in school is all for a reason anyway. 

Remember that it can always be worse and it will get better once you realize you’re going to school to get a good education and learn which doesn’t always mean the top marks in the class. 

Now stop focusing on the grade and start focusing on learning as much as you can and trying your hardest, in the end that is all that matters. 

Stay strong, stay grateful. 

And as always, share the love ❤️

we will make it 

anyone who’s ever felt depressed or who’s sad right now. let me tell u I feel the same. I have for awhile, but there is something unique about us. and we are given these struggles because we have the strength to get through it. anyone who’s depressed and getting out of bed…good job. be fcking proud cause depression is so hard to deal with and the fact that you’re still alive handling it and making it though shows how truly strong you are!! it ain’t easy to live with the voices telling you you’re shitty, it’s so hard. but we are going to get through this. I promise I’m here, and I’m here to tell you the way you are isn’t “weird” or “sad” it’s authentic. let’s get through this and see it as a beautiful sadness. something unique, and inspiring to others one day. everything has a purpose. listen to this song: 

Robb Nash – Shadows 
you’re not alone. we are all struggling. I feel it too. I hurt most days. but the fact that we can pull through and not end our lives makes us hella powerful. 

let’s turn our sadness into beautiful energy that helps others be supported in these times. let’s find a better and more permanent solution. ⭐️
share the love my friends 


the way to more fulfilling life

For years I have been struggling with my mental illness issues, fatigue, aggression, stress, confidence issues and so much more. It sucks honestly, life feels hard all the time when I know it shouldn’t be. Struggling to get out of bed, wash my face, get places on time and being in social situations scares me. I hate being intimidated and I hate feeling less than everyone else. More recently severe depression and anxiety took over a lot of my life. I always wanted to love myself and it’s never worked. I tried and failed 1000 times and just found myself in the same place – my bed with some instant noodles watching Netflix.

I had a big realization and that was – for many years I have felt shitty and it’s all been my diet. Yah, maybe to some it sounds obvious and for a long time I knew it, but today I took it to account. Why am I putting these shitty foods into my body? Why am I not nourishing it properly? Giving my body what it truly needs rather than what I want.

The reason that eating better will help you love yourself is because you’re learning to nourish and love your body by feeding it with the right fuel. You’re going to sleep better, feel more calm and happy and this is all just from diet. Then this will help you to do all the other things you desire and it will give you all the energy you need to do so!!

My skin got terrible recently and it is at its worst today at this very moment. I have tried scrubs, I use tea tree oil, argon oil and many great products and for months it’s been worse.

So I cut out all dairy products, I recently became vegetarian (and I have been before and it’s been great) and I am now eating tons of veggies and fruits, beans, quinoa, chickpeas and I am still going to eat some seafood.

heart eating healthy

So why as a society do we eat so much? I found myself at McDonald’s and places getting so much fried food, and crap that NEVER made me feel good. At the time sure it seems to taste so good but then what about later on… months after eating like this. Milk never made me feel good and neither does cheese. It may just be me and my body, but I never felt good eating it. People tell me to stop feeling so guilty when I eat things but I feel guilty because I KNOW MY BODY AND ITS GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD. But time and time again I gave in and ate whatever just because I didn’t want to be annoying to everyone on how strict I felt my diet should be, it’s my fault of course and no one else’s.

The point is why on earth are we feeding our bodies a lot of crap? Chips, Pepsi, Fries, Bacon….do those have food nutrients? Hell no they do not!

So why? because at the time they taste good…. a few bites in they do. but doesn’t anyone even feel guilty?

People tell me I’m thin and I can eat anything. But i completely disagree with this every time and not only is it annoying but what about what you cant physically see? You don’t know the sadness that I feel inside. I may look “thin” on the outside but on the inside my body is falling apart. I developed anxiety and depression and many issues that all arises from my GUT. I am mentally unstable. And it all has to do with my diet. So what if we all ate to live, ate to make sure out body gets all the nutrients and vitamins that it needs to be energized and work how it supposes to. We need to occupy our minds with other things rather than “OMG I’m hungry, I need food now,” or “what are we going to make for dinner tonight.”

Make what your body needs to eat not what you think is going to satisfy your taste buds for a few moments.

Now it is NOT the easiest thing to change your diet and behaviour. I’m still struggling and at times I want to have something unhealthy but I ask myself “Is this going to make me feel good later?” and I keep reminding myself that this will help me with all my mental issues!! And if diet is going to help me I am going to put all the nutrients in my body to help me feel much better. Its tough but it is so worth it and you must be focused.

There are several alternatives and options that are just as tasty but our society has gone downhill with nutrition and it’s the number one thing.



There wasn’t much depression and anxiety back in the day because fast food wasn’t around and people ate when they had food and they ate because they were hungry, tired or their body needed it to survive. Now we eat because we’re bored and eating now occupies too much of our time. Our thoughts are on food or drinks more than ways to help this world.

Many of us enjoy eating just as much or more than we enjoy living ……

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In despite of what some may argue, there is clear-cut evidence that mental illnesses are diseases, just like any other medical condition.  Unfortunately the misconceptions and stigmas placed on people with mental illnesses often prevents them from seeking treatment.  People are not only suffering from the symptoms of the disorders themselves, but also from the […]